Fortune cookie says ...

[MTGuru]

From last night at Bai Plu in Long Beach, a combination Thai restaurant and sushi bar and one of our après-session haunts:

A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month.

Which I interpret to mean that someone is going to throw an egg at me.

No wonder I'm grumpy.

[chas]

Years ago I got this one:

"A girlfriend is a bottle of wine. A wife is a wine bottle."

If I could figure out what the hell it means, I'm sure I'd live my life by that adage.

[Nanohedron]

The two best I ever got:

One was all very mystical and said, "Look afar and see the end from the beginning." Right, Master Po. You might lay off the baijiu some.

The other was utterly blank. Now how much more drop-dead Zen can you get than that?

Oh, wait: three. Then there was the time I got one that said, "You would make a good lawyer." I complained to the proprietress about the insult, but she just couldn't get it for the joke it was supposed to be. I'll never do that again.

[Nanohedron]

A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month.

Which I interpret to mean that someone is going to throw an egg at me.

As a veteran of augury and propheteering I interpret this oracle to mean that while navigating a forkful of omelette to your mouth, it will instead fall onto your lap, and that will be the dog's opportunity. Needless to say, the moment will be quite awkward.

[Seonachan]

I got one a while ago that read "You will have a very bright future." So as of now, my future is not bright, but at some indeterminate point in the future, I can look forward to a bright future.

[Nanohedron]

If you think about it, "You will have a very bright future" sounds like a variant on "Free beer tomorrow".

[Dale]

I got one that read "Avoid pimply-face salespeople for now." I know this sounds like the kind of thing I'd make up, but it's true. What I love most about that message is "...for now."

[brewerpaul]

For a long time, I carried a favorite in my wallet:
"Laugh alla time, people think you crazy"

[Dale]

For a long time, I carried a favorite in my wallet:
"Laugh alla time, people think you crazy"

That's a thing of beauty.

[MeMyselfandI]

A couple years ago, I got one that said "Find another fortune cookie."

[MTGuru]

Another one of mine, from long ago:

He is kissing a fond remembrance of you.

Now and then I wonder who he is, how his gaydar could be so very wrong, and what happened to all my missing guitar picks.

[mutepointe]

Everytime I get a new telephone at work, I tape my most recent meaningful fortune to the phone. One of my favorites is "Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things."

[rhulsey]

One of my favorites was "Your business will assume vast proportions".

I'm still patiently waiting....

[daveboling]

I refused to leave a tip once when the fortune I received was "You will live in interesting times". Not so far from the curse "May you live in interesting times".

[Nanohedron]

Never worked in service, have you.