Shanghaied!

[s1m0n]

In a lifetime of rash decisions, I may well have just made the worst yet: I've agreed to spend 30 days cruising the labrador coast in a 30 foot yacht with the father I have yet to meet.

I'm an adoptee who only last year managed to track down my birth mother. She told me the name of my dad, and I've been corresponding with him for a few months. He turns out to be a reasonably famous yachtsman who at one point sailed solo around the world and made a movie about it. Anyway, he's eager to meet me. He'd known that I was on the way, but as a younger man his reaction was to do a runner, so apart from the vague knowledge that some baby somewhere was his, he was totally in the dark.

Fiftyish years later his attitude is very different. He'd had daughters but never a son, and says that he had always imagined that his unknown child was a boy. The really spooky detail is that if either of his daughters had been born a boy, his intention was to give it my name: Simon.

Anyway after some shilly-shallying about whether he was going to fly out here (BC) or I was going there (Montreal), he invited me along on a month-long cruise up the Labrador coast this summer. I accepted. After 30 days in a 30 foot boat, I believe I can say with confidence that we'll each have an excellent idea whether we get along. This could be a disaster but I suspect there's a equal chance it's going to be incredible.

And oh yeah - the other spooky detail is that he also plays a wooden flute.

[benhall.1]

Good luck!

Don't know about you, S1m0n, but if it was me, I know I'd have a better chance of having a reasonable time if I went with no expectations whatever. Mind a blank slate.

I really hope it goes well.

[Innocent Bystander]

Scary stuff! Best wishes, and I hope it all goes well.

[emmline]

Wow. Maybe the trick is to just think about him as a person you're meeting, and don't put much stock in the genetic relationship. I mean, don't go thinking that'll make any difference. He's a guy, you're a guy. Hang out.

[I.D.10-t]

...he also plays a wooden flute.

Imagine if he played the pipes, or a fife. A month on a yaght would seem like a year.

Hope you have a great time.

[dwest]

I'd ask to see his cruising logs, has he sunk or run aground recently?

[Denny]

WOW!!!

as ya both want to get to know each other
and neutral ground not being a good option
30 days on a sail boat should do it!

Should be the experience of a lifetime!

Have ya ever sailed before?

Oh, if it isn't going well, mind the boom.

[kokopelli]

Oh, if it isn't going well, mind the boom.

I'll second that. I nearly got knocked off a 36' sailboat once because I wasn't paying attention to the boom.

Good luck. I hope you get along well with him.

[mutepointe]

Take pictures. Have the time of your life.

[MTGuru]

If you actually end up in Shanghai, that will be a real adventure.

[s1m0n]

I'd ask to see his cruising logs, has he sunk or run aground recently?

I don't think so. He's spent years of his life on that boat, and made his last Atlantic crossing only a few years ago in his late sixties. What I'm more worried about is something like a heart attack or stroke in which he's incapacitated leaving me to get us out of there. I'm comfortable enough to sail a dinghy solo in moderate weather, but that scenario leaves a lot of possibilities out.

[dwest]

Oh, if it isn't going well, mind the boom.

Here on the Bay getting "paid by the boom" was the typical way of compensating "Shanghaied" "arstermen" before the captain took the skipjack to port to offload a catch...and "hire" new employees.

[Denny]

it does remove the potential for a lot of those labor disputes

[mutepointe]

What I'm more worried about is something like a heart attack or stroke in which he's incapacitated leaving me to get us out of there. I'm comfortable enough to sail a dinghy solo in moderate weather, but that scenario leaves a lot of possibilities out.

I couldn't get anyone to canoe with me for over a year after my heart surgery, even my best friend. No one wanted to row back by themselves if something happened. Finally my nephew visited. Summa beaches.

[dwest]

I'd ask to see his cruising logs, has he sunk or run aground recently?

I don't think so. He's spent years of his life on that boat, and made his last Atlantic crossing only a few years ago in his late sixties. What I'm more worried about is something like a heart attack or stroke in which he's incapacitated leaving me to get us out of there. I'm comfortable enough to sail a dinghy solo in moderate weather, but that scenario leaves a lot of possibilities out.

Just make sure he has a shot of malt each day, and take a sailing class at one of the schools in Vancouver.