Celtic bands-- new song

[patsky]

New Age Celtic Bands
By Patrick Sky
© Grass Blade Music 2003

Tune: MacNamara’s band

My name is Seamus Kelly and I come from Co, Cork
It was only yesterday that I landed in New York
I've played the fiddle all my life I craved to hear a tune
That is why I went into the Emerald Isle Saloon
I saw a piper on the stage all plugged and amplified
The singer had a phony brogue the crowd was stupefied
The flutes and fiddles were painted blue and they jumped and rolled around
As the bass and synthesizer made a river full of sound

CH:
Oh the bodhrans bang the bouzoukis twang the fiddles blast away
the dancers twirl a half naked girl the pipes they moan and bray
From the pubs of San Francisco clear to Egypt’s rolling sands
A pox to Irish music are these new age Celtic bands

So I turns to McNamara and I asks what do you think
he said this kind of music it would drive a man to drink
What ever happened to a grand old jig or a simple Irish Reel?
Now every night this Celtic sh*t it makes me toss a meal
It’s Celtic this and Celtic that Celtic music too
There’s Celtic tea and Celtic Bree Celtic Buga-loo
If my parents they are Celtic then what does that make me
Do you think they came from Celt land just across the Celtic Sea?

Now you’ve heard my simple tune that I chose to put in verse
I'11 finish up this ditty with an ancient bardic curse
May the piper’s bags all turn to rags their chanters loose their tone
The flutes and whistles fill with muck the bodhrans turn to stone
The fiddlers bow warp out of shape the singers’ voice will break
The synthesizer players hand will turn into raw steak
The dancer’s feet won't keep the beat their shoes will fill with sand
I curse all those who freely choose to join a Celtic Band

[MTGuru]

[Pat Cannady]

I nearly spewed coffee all over the monitor. Thanks Pat.

[dubhlinn]

10/10

Slan,
D.

[Patrick D'Arcy]

That's Seltik to you ;-p

PD.

[Liam]

That was wonderful, thank you.

I intensely despise the term celtic music as it is applied these days. In real terms celtic music is about as precise as saying American Music. Yet it now is applied as if Scottish Music, Irish Music, Cape Breton Music and indeed anything that came from a current or former area once dominated by the celts as a single genre. This ignores the broad territorial and historical range of the music. Well, that and the New Ageism of many "Celtic Music" bands and fans.

Mind you, I like Scottish and Cape Breton Music... and it is a good thing that there is some cross pollination between them and Irish Music.. but they are all distinctive traditions that are worth keeping distinct in their own rights.

--
Bill

[magroibin]

Hilarious!!!

...and timely...I actually went out for Halloween disguised as a "Celtic rocker". (Kilt, blue face paint, spiked hair, Doc Martins and all!)

[uillmann]

Hahahahahahahhahahahaaa !
ha ha hahhaaaaaaho oh man!

[Brook Alexander]

ROTFLMAO

[Grack]

Makes me think of this video I just saw.... not "quite" the same, but.... probably just as disturbing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmwOqBknSJ4

[mukade]

Dear god.

Those renaissance fairs have a lot to answer for.

[Denny]

Ohio.....little bit odd there

[oleorezinator]

well said pat. however, in your summary
the bodhran nor the bouzouki were addressed.
seamus ennis's well known commentary on
bodhran playing covers it i suppose.
as for the bouzouki, johhny moynihan
regales us here somewhat less poetically
i'm afraid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQWLA2GHfO8

[Nanohedron]

as for the bouzouki, johhny moynihan
regales us here somewhat less poetically
i'm afraid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQWLA2GHfO8

[scheky]

Brilliant as I think the song is, I do have one question. WHAT is the matter with a half naked girl dancing? Seriously....we need MORE OF THAT.