Chiff and Fipple Forums

Square bread, round meat? Behold:

This is not news.

It's the first I'd ever seen of it; this yokel thought it was brilliant. But then I don't really eat bologna and the like, so maybe I've been out of the loop.

The interleaving doesn't really add value, except perhaps visual interest. You would get the same coverage putting down two halves one way, say )(, then two more at 90 degrees to them.

For that matter, you could get similar coverage putting a whole round in the middle, then two halves back-to-back, as it were.

Well. I can tell that my distant relationship to prepared lunch meats is showing, because who knows how long it would've taken me to think these things up. I'd have just gone along, bearing the sadness of meatless corners.

Meatless corners!

I'd been filling mine since childhood.....

Having failed to find anything cleverly geometrical I was going to suggest alternative approaches using this



or this.



but not together - as illustrated.

Nanohedron wrote:Square bread, round meat? Behold:

Too much work.

I too no longer eat the lunch meats, however, back in the day it would've been a Dagwood.

Further, whoever designed the aesthetics of a club sandwich carved into quarters and held together with a toothpick ought to be given a good hacking.

david_h wrote:... but not together - as illustrated.

Although you have to admit that the image of abundance spilling over is pretty good eye candy. All that's lacking is bluebirds or a marching band or something. The melty cheese draped over a thick, fried Spam steak is a bit over the top, though; hardens my arteries just looking at it.

Spam's another thing that eludes my culinary habit. In fact, I don't personally know any Minnesotans who use the stuff, and - go figure - we invented it. Despite our culpability, it's reflexively looked down upon here; we acknowledge it with rueful, embarrassed pride, and each purchase is a Scarlet Letter - but apparently stigma's not enough to keep Minnesotans from eating it, as evidenced by it being always available, without fail or dearth, on our grocery shelves yet. In my case, it's not so much that I avoid it out of some vague snooty principle, because despite its nutritional alarm bells it actually tastes pretty good, considering; I mean, really, it's just an industrial, high-sodium terrine (well, it is, regardless of whether you think it's only fit for orcs). But sodium etc. aside, for some reason it just never found a place in my go-to pantry. And it's probably just as well. But if I were in Hawai'i I would no doubt be eating tasty Spam musubi - teriyaki, please! - along with everyone else; as Anthony Bourdain opined, "Your body is not a temple. It's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride."

The last (and come to think of it, the only) intentional project I had with Spam was on the day I had the bright idea to take a wild plunge and add it, cubed, to a pot of soup I was building (no, of course the Spam wasn't just lying around; I bought it expressly for the demented purpose, because: Nano). The main drawback I found to that novelty - apart from aghast nutritionists and gourmets - was that cubed Spam floats. It never sinks. Ever. It just bobs merrily away on top, a raft of controversial meat flotsam obscuring what's below. And if that weren't enough, when boiled it turns a depressing shade of gray. The visuals were so off-putting that I can't even remember how it tasted. In the unlikely event I ever even think to buy Spam again, it will only be for frying or grilling as God intended, with a marinade of guilt. And no cheese.

ytliek wrote:Further, whoever designed the aesthetics of a club sandwich carved into quarters and held together with a toothpick ought to be given a good hacking.

Yeah, I never saw the point of all the primness. One is led to suspect it was designed with the idea that it would - supposedly - appeal to the ladies.

Nanohedron wrote:Spam's another thing that eludes my culinary habit.

Same here. I have it in the same category as frankfurter sausages. The main difference being that whilst I will eat both of them to be polite the occasion is less likely to arise in the case of Spam. My frankfurter-eating mainland Europe friends probably think much the same of delicious English sausages.

Damn. Now I'm hankering for Ukrainian-style sausages from a nearby local institution, Kramarczuk's. They're so garlicky that the fumes make the air shimmer.

Nanohedron wrote:They're so garlicky that the fumes make the air shimmer.

It's a good way to make sure people keep their distance...

Katharine wrote:

Nanohedron wrote:They're so garlicky that the fumes make the air shimmer.

It's a good way to make sure people keep their distance...

Good idea. Effective both as repellent and tonic, and epicurean at the same time. What could be better?

Off to Kramarczuk's...

Nanohedron wrote:

Nanohedron wrote:
Off to Kramarczuk's...

Which variety?

oleorezinator wrote:

Nanohedron wrote: Off to Kramarczuk's...

Which variety?

There is only one Kramarczuk's.

Oh, you mean the sausage. They just Yankify it and call it "Ukrainian". IIRC they don't use the word kovbasa, and for the most part you don't see maven's terms like vudzhena or the like; one suspects that sales, not long explanations (although they happily give them when asked), are the Prime Directive, and apparently it works, because business is usually brisk. This one's a coarser grind than most Central/Eastern European fare, and you can get it cured or fresh, short links or long, and in my house it gets braised along with the Easter ham in pineapple juice and brown sugar. The cured variety of this sausage is addictive, and I like it best as-is, or with a spot of horseradish. Kramarczuk's also pays homage to the Polish side of the sausagemaker's craft; their Krakowska is another favorite, and I usually buy some of that for good measure. A great TV nosh. There's a bit of an identity mishmash in the marketing, though; on the store's sign it's a Ukrainian deli, but in the broad sense they style themselves as offering "Polish sausages". C'mon, guys; this is Nordeast Minneapolis, a byword for Eastern European immigration. Own your identity if we're going to start naming names. But TBH, I couldn't speak ill about any of their product, which is always high quality and these days is pretty diverse and even occasionally experimental: They've even had what they called Morroccan-style links, too, but it's been a while since I've shopped there, so I don't know if the public ever took to it.

They're a butchery/deli/restaurant (classic fare from the Old Country, just like or better than Grandmother used to make), but to the carnivore their real draw, and their specialty, is the mostly Eastern European-style cured meats. But I mentioned their diversity: They also produce prosciutto, and if they are making guanciale, they are to be blessed all the more.