Things your parents used to say...

thurlowe · Post by **thurlowe** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 6:25 pm

Thanks, Jennie. Much less gloomy!

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 7:32 pm

From Mom I got-
" Always act like a lady"
"RE-member not "member"

From Dad I got -
"Keep your heels down"- as in horseback riding

From both I got-
"You can do anything you really want to "- as in aspirations

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 7:44 pm

Wisdom she passed on in a tongue-in-cheek, yet serious, tone, from a posture teacher at college...

"Hold your quarter!"

Anyone know what that means? (I still do it, btw)

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:23 pm

The Prime Directive: "Always wear clean underwear--and make sure there aren't any holes--you never know when you might have to go to the emergency room." (She was a nurse.)

At the beach . . . "Don't go in over your knees. You'll get caught in the undertow and drown."

Alternated with . . . "Don't go in over your knees. You'll fall in a hole and drown."

Accented with . . . "Shuffle your feet. You'll step on a stingray and they'll have to cut the barb out."

"Put shoes on those feet before you get ringworm."

"Don't play in the puddles! You'll get ringworm!"

"No, you are NOT going to wear flip-flops. You'll get ringworm."

Pointing to grimy child with excoriated mosquito bites all over his legs: "He obviously didn't listen and now he's got ringworm!"

"You're pale as a ghost! Go sit in the sun!" (That was then.)

"You're pale as a ghost! Don't you have lipstick?" (Now.)

"You look like the wreck of the Hesperas! Can't you DO SOMETHING with that hair?" (Then and now.)

"Are you planning to go to school/Mass/shopping/movies/work wearing THAT?"

"DON'T LOOK! Pretend you don't see them!" (About every carload of cute guys who pulled up next to us at stop lights. To this day, I have trouble flirting with guys in cars. Well, shoot, I have trouble flirting, period. I'm afraid some giant hand will come out of nowhere and smack me.)

Closely related to the above . . . "They won't buy the milk if you give it away for free." (Took me years to figure out why she kept talking about dairy farming.)

"If you learn to type, you'll never be out of a job."

"No, you are not going to take music lessons. You're not musically inclined."

"Stop that whistling. It's not ladylike."

And--I swear this is true--the one I have never figured out: "Don't open the venetian blinds that far! Do you want people to think we're Irish?"

Dad's Prime Directive: "Just float until the Coast Guard gets here."

"I don't know what the hell ringworm is, but don't worry--we've got insurance."

"Keep whistling. She can't tell if it's you or me."

"What's her problem with your hair?"

And the piece de resistance: "Let's tell her we're going out for ice cream, and we'll see if somebody'll drag with us. You can steer!"

rebl_rn · Post by **rebl_rn** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:25 pm

My paternal grandmother always said that tennis shoes were bad for your eyes.

I've been told my maternal grandmother (who died before I was born) always instructed, "Never eat blue food."

When my dad was ordained a priest, he decided he needed to clean up his language a little bit. He was a cop - Chief of Police - when he was ordained, and cops don't always have the nicest language. So, instead of saying whatever naughty word he wants to say, he yells, "BOOGERS!"

Post by **Dale** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:54 pm

From Dad:

Oil is the lifeblood of anything mechanical.

Take this bucket of fish heads & guts down to the creek and throw 'em in. And don't puke.

Don't tell your mother I let you shoot this.

Reckon what your mama would like for Christmas? (Usually on Dec. 23 or 24)

Boy, you get back in that truck.

Here's the Father of the Undisputed circa 1943 in the United States Navy.

Darwin · Post by **Darwin** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:07 pm

Peggy wrote:"Don't play in the puddles! You'll get ringworm!"

Ringworm ain't bad. In my day, it was polio.

"Don't make me come back there!" was for me and my friends in the backseat of the car.

My mother's big threat was, "I'm gonna skin you alive!", but she never did.

Also, "If I have to tell you again, you're going to be sorry." (She made good on that one from time to time.)

"Michael, just stop talking for five minutes." (I heard this a lot during long car trips. Apparently I was a voluble little feller.)

Daddy was very laid back, and seldom said a harsh word about anything. When Mother got mad, she'd say things like "Oh, sugar!" or "Oh, fudge!". Occasionally she'd loose control, and a "Dammit!" would come forth. This would always elicit a shocked, "Inez!" from Daddy. I guess that's why I never got much into swearing--especially in front of other people.

Jennie · Post by **Jennie** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:18 pm

Cranberry wrote:"Shut the (bleep) up!"

It's true. :roll:

Oh, Cran. I'm sorry.

I saw a boy running from the post office with a pile of letters, and then he tripped and dropped it all in a puddle. His mother gave him the most awful, foul-mouthed scolding I've ever heard. I wanted to rescue him.

I know that some of the things I say to my children, though not inappropriate in terms of language, are said more to make them feel guilty than to guide them. Hope they survive to remember some of the other, more noble things I've told them.

Jennie

susnfx · Post by **susnfx** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:19 pm

Oh my gosh, what memories you've all brought back for me!

Peggy, my mom was always the one who covered for us kids - my dad didn't talk to us unless there was a punishment involved. We were terrified of him, so it was appropos that the one sound my dad made that had the most instantaneous effect on us kids wasn't actually anything he said. He was a highway patrolman and whenever he came home he radioed in to the jail to let the guy on duty know he was home for the night. When he did this for some reason it caused a few seconds of static on our television set. When we saw that, someone always yelled, "Dad's home!" and we scattered like roaches when the light is turned on.

Ah, the good old days.

And...I'm so proud of myself...I asked my 23-year-old daughter earlier today if she can recall any words of wisdom or instruction I repeatedly threw at her - and she said no.

Susan

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:26 pm

Jennie wrote:
Cranberry wrote:"Shut the (bleep) up!"

It's true. :roll:
Oh, Cran. I'm sorry.

I saw a boy running from the post office with a pile of letters, and then he tripped and dropped it all in a puddle. His mother gave him the most awful, foul-mouthed scolding I've ever heard. I wanted to rescue him.

It really is child abuse. Heaven knows when I hear parents talk to their children in this way it gives me the same awful feeling.

jbarter · Post by **jbarter** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:03 am

Walden wrote:
Jennie wrote:
Cranberry wrote:"Shut the (bleep) up!"

It's true. :roll:
Oh, Cran. I'm sorry.

I saw a boy running from the post office with a pile of letters, and then he tripped and dropped it all in a puddle. His mother gave him the most awful, foul-mouthed scolding I've ever heard. I wanted to rescue him.
It really is child abuse. Heaven knows when I hear parents talk to their children in this way it gives me the same awful feeling.

I heard a little kiddie of about 5 or 6 swear in the street only to have his mother yell at him "Where the ---- did you learn ------- language like that you ------- little -------?"

Well I had a good idea where even if she didn't.

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:23 am

dubhlinn wrote:From my Mother:

Burn everything English...except their coal.

Slan,
D.

I knew there was something volatile there.

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:45 pm

Flyingcursor wrote:
dubhlinn wrote:From my Mother:

Burn everything English...except their coal.

Slan,
D.
I knew there was something volatile there.

Brother Fly,
That was one of her milder comments..believe me

Slan,
D.

brianormond · Post by **brianormond** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:29 pm

-"Bet he won't have the guts to do that again!" -(to a fresh windshield bug splat)

-"You're a good man, McGee." (affectionate approval)

-"You don't want to get a little older and find out you've really f***ed the dog!" (stern lecture re disaffected youth's poor academic performance) Oh, that poor, poor dog.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 8:42 pm

Walden wrote:
Jennie wrote:
Cranberry wrote:"Shut the (bleep) up!"

It's true. :roll:
Oh, Cran. I'm sorry.

I saw a boy running from the post office with a pile of letters, and then he tripped and dropped it all in a puddle. His mother gave him the most awful, foul-mouthed scolding I've ever heard. I wanted to rescue him.
It really is child abuse. Heaven knows when I hear parents talk to their children in this way it gives me the same awful feeling.

It disturbs me horribly. I'm very nearly unable to keep myself from saying something to the parent. Judging by the looks they give me, I suspect that my feelings are all over my face.

This is the main reason I do not prefer shopping at Walmart. Oh, all the usual social justice and "Made in the USA" issues aside, and overlooking the filth, the main reason is the incredible number of abusive parents that I encounter there. It's never just one, but one in every aisle.