Measuring how much you participate... a sticky wicket

Emrys · Post by **Emrys** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 9:25 pm

Some of you might have enjoyed the exchange one of my posts for Sindts for Sale kicked up a few weeks back... all in good fun, one would hope. And I feel moved to "share" on one more point. You know--it's the kind of thing you try to just ignore, but at 3 in the morning there you are, lying in bed, eyes wide open thinking about it yet again.

One of lambastes from someone or other was that I sold whistles on the C&F more than I participated in it, as a card-carrying whistle player maniac one of the crew type of gal ... (Big sad downturned grins plus a brow full of dissaproval, with low hisssses thrown in for grins) ... and I let it go by.

The next day a friend of mine from the C&F (yes Virginia, she does have friends here!) wrote me a PM wondering if perchance I had ever spent a happy half hour purusing the C&F and (gasp!) not actually been moved to WRITE anything? He further mused that I may have felt I had nothing to add, no questions to ask at this time, or no one to crucify for anything much ... could that be so?

Guess what? It is! I don't know about you, but I probably write in about 1/100th of the times I spend a merry moment chasing down some newbie's question only to find out that everyone in tarnation has already told him to buy a Susato, or use his pinkie to balance the danged thing. I may thrill to someone recounting of a great concert only to have nothing to contribute, not having been to a great one in almost a year. And you kind folks answered my newbie questions... well, when I was one. So, I ain't got nuthin' to ask these days (unless you could crystal ball it for me and tell me whether I should buy or sell the market tomorrow at Open).

Get my drift? Which isn't to say I never will have another question, comment or snide remark to share with the world of C&F'ers... just to point out that those who are quick to judge without facts may find themselves hoist on their own petard. And believe me, if you've even been petarded you will quickly discover a thirsty whistler player's passion for looking at thing a wee bit more below the surface. The truth might just surprise the heck outta ya!

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:17 pm

Don't let 'em get ye down. here.. have a nice cuppa.

Thomaston · Post by **Thomaston** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 8:28 am

Well said. I tend to only respond to a very small percentage of the threads I read. Usually, someone has already said what I might say, and usually better than I would have said it.

straycat82 · Post by **straycat82** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:03 am

I think some good points have been made here. My posting has dropped significantly here, especially in the last six months or so. I'm on the forum just as much as ever but I don't have much to say. Why is this? Well, to be honest I've seen so many folks flamed for giving their opinions that I'm often afraid to give mine when it comes to ITM. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, draw your own conclusions. I'll just say it makes me a little more hesitant to "answer" questions.
As a person who was born and raised here in Arizona, far from the well, I have learned what I could from the few musicians here, a few tutors and the recordings that I've been able to track down and add to my collection (and of course the wonderful people at C&F). I've made quite the effort to find the tradition and learn it and I know that I'm still far from it. I expect it to be a lifelong effort. I'm called a traditionalist snob by a few locals who think I'm closed minded because I don't like fusion groups such as Grada and Flook and I've been called ignorant and clueless by folks here who have the benefit of experiencing the tradition where they live... it's a strange and discouraging place to be.

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:10 am

Some basic message board rules:

1. Bring your thick skin

2. Since this is an imperfect means of communication, being that no non-verbal clues are possible, the odds that one will read the wrong tone into a comment is huge. Couple this with the fact that most people do not 'craft' their words to make sure they imply the correct tone, and the potential for misreads multiplies.

3. People tend to say things behind the cover of the internet they may not say in person.

4. You can't let a person or three ruin things. It's like real life--you pick and choose the people you like and get along with. The rest are still there, but you manage to give them less importance.

5. Bring your thick skin.

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:14 am

6. 'Lurk' is not a four letter word.

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:18 am

Yes, it seems many folk get confused between 'authoritative' and 'authoritarian'.

(ruefully)

CranberryDog · Post by **CranberryDog** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:19 am

True; however, Five is a Four letter word. Cheers.

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:20 am

FJohnSharp wrote: 3. People tend to say things behind the cover of the internet they may not say in person.

Does that really apply to the chiffboard? Perhaps to the U pipes forum in its heyday, but generally the chiffboard seems free of such stuff.

CranberryDog · Post by **CranberryDog** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:44 am

anniemcu wrote:Yes, it seems many folk get confused between 'authoritative' and 'authoritarian'. (ruefully)

I agree. I read the associated thread and was surprised to see some very mean spirited comments that were unwarranted.

I got the sense that some posters believe they have an entitlement because of their post count.

I have seen this behavior on unrelated fora and i am disaappointed to find it here.

Lighten up and Happy Christmas. Cheers, Cyril.

Cayden · Post by **Cayden** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:05 am

Yes and Duck is a four letter bird.

I was the one who put forward the impression of Emrys was that her only engagement with the forums was that as a seller of high end whistles at a price. MT looking back at the posting record certainly confirmed that impression was not exactly plucked out of thin air.

Context: in the past there have been people who used the forums for reasons of commercial nature and it is a practice that has been up for discussion and it was agreed this was something to be frowned upon.

As I said on that thread I am not in the least sorry I made that remark because to me that was certainly the impression created by Emrys posts over time. I am sorry Laurel had sleepless nights over it but, been there done that, you do need a thick skin to participate in these forums.

If we are talking mean spirit, I am usually fairly plainspoken if there's something that bugs me. Like it or not, get used to how I say things and deal with it. I have encountered an endless stream of personal digs and veiled insults over the years that I consider quite a lot more insulting and meanspirited that most things I have ever uttered here.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:24 am

Bloomfield wrote:
FJohnSharp wrote: 3. People tend to say things behind the cover of the internet they may not say in person.
Does that really apply to the chiffboard? Perhaps to the U pipes forum in its heyday, but generally the chiffboard seems free of such stuff.

It absolutely applies to the Chiffboard.

Although we are certainly one of the nicest boards overall that I have encountered, yet there have been moments that none of us should be proud of.

--James

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:34 am

anniemcu wrote:Yes, it seems many folk get confused between 'authoritative' and 'authoritarian'. (ruefully)

Granted, that works in both directions - writer and reader alike.

I did not trace down the thread in question, just having experienced it, from both sides, actually, offer the observation.

Peter, you are most assuredly an authority on the genre, who occasionally comes off as 'authoritarian' in the boards. I've certainly been accused of the latter myself. And goodness knows, those of us in the lower rungs of ITM and whistledom can tend to be easily offended. A bit of mutual lea way and forgiveness is quite useful, I'm sure you would agree.

I offer you the same 'comfort' - "Don't let them get you down." - Would you prefer your cuppa' hot or chilled?

I'm handing out cups o'joe laced with a somewhat better than cheap Irish Cream this morning.

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 12:53 pm

Bloomfield wrote:
FJohnSharp wrote: 3. People tend to say things behind the cover of the internet they may not say in person.
Does that really apply to the chiffboard? Perhaps to the U pipes forum in its heyday, but generally the chiffboard seems free of such stuff.

I think it happens less on the Chiffboard than with other places. Mostly we here are being ourselves, while at other places people adopt personnas that they use to act in whatever way they want--often different than what they would do in person. But I also think it goes on here to some degree. For example, I'm not nearly this smart in person.

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:28 pm

FJohnSharp wrote:
Bloomfield wrote:
FJohnSharp wrote: 3. People tend to say things behind the cover of the internet they may not say in person.
Does that really apply to the chiffboard? Perhaps to the U pipes forum in its heyday, but generally the chiffboard seems free of such stuff.
I think it happens less on the Chiffboard than with other places. Mostly we here are being ourselves, while at other places people adopt personnas that they use to act in whatever way they want--often different than what they would do in person. But I also think it goes on here to some degree. For example, I'm not nearly this smart in person.

I think a lot of that is because we keep each other honest here. We know how antagonistic it *can* get, and have agreed not to treat each other so disrespectfully... most of the time.

That problem is one of the main ones you run into on web boards, though. Many people tend to take advantage of the fairly effective anonymity offered by the internet. They don't feel the need to be courteous, or honest because they don't feel like their real intent is visible, nor their chin within reach. Most folks here on the C&F are above that, thankfully, or learn to be quickly.

I do try to make it a point to be the same person here as i would be at my own kitchen table, or a new acquaintance's. I dislike having to remember what i told one person so that I can cover my rear when talking to another, who may be their friend, or call my bluff. It takes way too much work to be dishonest.