The Undisputed Prophetic Powers of Chiff & Fipple

Post by **Dale** » Sun May 09, 2004 5:54 pm

From the Chiff & Fipple FAQ, ci. 1998 or 1999:

Q: Right. Right. Well, let's move on. What other projects are you working on?

Dale: Oh, lots of things. I'm putting the final touches on a grand ballet I've conceived and choreographed about NASCAR. My new musical about Jerry Springer ("Springer!") is previewing in Atlanta and, in what I regard as really imaginative casting, will star Meryl Streep as Jerry Springer.

As you might guess, I made these up, in addition to a few other projects in a similarly surreal vein. You have already marvelled that there has been an opera about Jerry Springer written and performed. That's pretty darn close to a musical.

Now, Beth Walsh has made me aware of this:

http://www.roanokeballet.org/index.php

An excerpt from the website:

"NASCAR Ballet is the next installment of Roanoke Ballet Theatre's desire to create an appreciation for dance through popular culture. NASCAR Ballet centers around 20 ballet and modern dancers (who represent cars) who circle a forty foot horseshoe track that banks around the corner complete with break away railings. Three huge monitors are suspended about the dancers heads. One of which serve as the "TV" as the local Channel 7 sportscaster, Mike Stevens, calls the race live and it is projected onto the monitor. Mike will be joined by NASCAR drivers, who he interviews during the production. Another monitor, relays live footage of the "pit" as dancers lift, rotate and spin one another during the "pit stop". The third screen continuously plays pre-made commercials by sponsoring companies. As the dancers gracefully careen around the track, collide and are rebuilt, logos of sponsoring companies are displayed prominently all over their bodies."

O Praise the Undisputed for His Prophetic Powers and for the Abilities of Others to Steal the Ideas of the Undisputed From His Head.

Brian Lee · Post by **Brian Lee** » Sun May 09, 2004 6:39 pm

the only thing worse than a room full of accordion players, banjo players and pipers is a room full of modern dance. Sheesh!

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Sun May 09, 2004 8:49 pm

"NASCAR Ballet is the next installment of Roanoke Ballet Theatre's desire to create an appreciation for dance through popular culture. NASCAR Ballet centers around 20 ballet and modern dancers (who represent cars) who circle a forty foot horseshoe track that banks around the corner complete with break away railings. Three huge monitors are suspended about the dancers heads. One of which serve as the "TV" as the local Channel 7 sportscaster, Mike Stevens, calls the race live and it is projected onto the monitor. Mike will be joined by NASCAR drivers, who he interviews during the production. Another monitor, relays live footage of the "pit" as dancers lift, rotate and spin one another during the "pit stop". The third screen continuously plays pre-made commercials by sponsoring companies. As the dancers gracefully careen around the track, collide and are rebuilt, logos of sponsoring companies are displayed prominently all over their bodies."

So THERE!! Now ya'll can't say we here in southwest ver-gin-yuh ain't got no class er suh-fis-tuh-kay-shun!!!

Now I just wonder how many "good ole boys" went to that little shindig?

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Sun May 09, 2004 10:39 pm

How do you circle a horseshoe track? That's what I want to know.

lilymaid · Post by **lilymaid** » Sun May 09, 2004 11:31 pm

That's just scary.

IDAwHOa · Post by **IDAwHOa** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:59 am

I am just appalled. Trying to pretty up and bring sofistication to NASCAR racing.

Impossible, if nothing else.

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Mon May 10, 2004 9:54 am

:roll: It's like... shock ballet.

Were they just bored or what? Good call, Dale. Bloody amazing, in fact.

Now tell what is coming next O-Undisputed One? After all we need to be prepared, right?

Post by **Nanohedron** » Mon May 10, 2004 10:40 am

That NASCAR thing was too butch to be believed, anyway. Ballet. It figures.

scottielvr · Post by **scottielvr** » Mon May 10, 2004 10:54 am

It was either remarkable prognostication by Dale or, of course, arrant plagiarism by the Roanake people, as the idea appeared earlier in writing. Hmmm....Should be --dare I risk a sports metaphor?--a slam dunk. Time to get lawyered up! I feel a lawsuit coming on....

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Mon May 10, 2004 12:03 pm

I would rather listen to a mime version of the Vagina Monologues than watch a ballet about NASCAR

MarkB

fancypiper · Post by **fancypiper** » Mon May 10, 2004 12:09 pm

scottielvr, where in the NC mountains do you live? Anywhere near Sparta?

scottielvr · Post by **scottielvr** » Mon May 10, 2004 12:27 pm

Hi, 'piper.... we're a few counties southwest of you, down in Yancey County -- Burnsville, to be exact. . . occasionally friends in Asheville ask me, "So...what's going on in Burnsville these days?" To which I consistently reply, "Absolutely nothing." Which is just how I like it.

Steven · Post by **Steven** » Mon May 10, 2004 1:02 pm

Hey Dale, would you mind making a joke prediction about a certain whistle and flute player from the Philadelphia area winning a big lottery jackpot?

Steven

SirNick · Post by **SirNick** » Mon May 10, 2004 1:26 pm

Hello everyone. I'm not sure that any type of dancing that doesn't involve a brass pole or a "Boot Scoot'in Boogie" line dance will be very popular with the racing community!