Abd let us not forget Bonsai Kitten, the Eastern art of sealing kittens inside jars to reshape them into aesthetically pleasing forms.
More about Bonsai Kitten here.
Get the real deal here</A](http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/">here</A)>.
djm
And nowhere as impressive as Kitty-in-a-pint. Do you just change the glass when it gets full? Or is there some kind of catheter coming out the back that we can’t see in the picture.
It’s all part of the cocktail, gonzo. You do with it like you normally would do a pint… 
If you read the entire method you will see that the business end of the kitten is sealed with Super Glue. The resulting fur patterns of this end of the kitten being grown while smushed up against the glass can add value to the project.
djm
In the interest on good taste, I thought it best to forgo posting the picture with the kitty’s third eye pushed up against the glass. I think I deserve extra credit for this because it is so seldom that I do anything in the interests of good taste.
How is that link any better than the one I originally posted (reproduced here with original typographical)?
This thing is hosted in lost of places now, since MIT and Yahoo both caved in to the Humane Society whiners.
And finally, what does this mean:
Surely, you are not laboring under the misapprehansion that I, gonzo, who once got thrown out of a nice restaurant for doing a trick involving his eye, a steak knife, a creamer, and several shrieking women, that I give any credence to these stories or view them in any way as other than what they really are – damn fine sick humor – even though there is no indication in the scriptures that Jesus ever had a Bonsai Kitty.
Yours in a state of high dudgeon -
gonzo
P.S. Don’t overlook the Guestbook page. There is some most excellent stuff in there. One of my favorites —
From Dr. Lirpa <> lrp@lirponics.com> > Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000
Dear Sir/Madam,
I was appalled to come across your “Bonsai Kitten” site today as I searched with my young niece for Hello Kitty horticultural products. I told little Felicity that this didn’t really happen to kittens, but she would not believe me. Now she is drawing pictures of felines in all manner of geometric forms, and is even taking an interest in her older brother’s tongue piercing. You should consider putting AdultCheck, NetNanny, PussyPass, or some other suitable protection system on your site. How can you sleep at night knowing that children around the world will be haphazardly cramming kittens in small vessels in an attempt to achieve the “Bonsai Kitten Facial Expression” — resulting instead in an expression of death, agony and disfigurement no doubt! As an American, I do not begrudge you indulgence in your esoteric oriental practices, but I wish you would label it for what it is: kittitorture. Then, innocent little girls like Felicity will be spared an adolescence of disfigurement through razor blades and needles in an attempt to reconcile their inner conflicts caused by your manipulation of the archetypical comfort creature the naturally-formed kitten.
Dear Dr. Lirpa,
We resent your opinions, and wish you did not have them, or at least could show enough restraint to keep them to yourself. Frankly, we at Bonsai Kitten are getting tired of receiving so many mis-informed and self-righteous missives telling us what is wrong with our site. The only consolation is the equal number of happy kittens that we lift from drab existences and elevate into cherished objets d’art. Can’t we all just get along?
Classic. Though, I hasten to remind his Holiness that Burger King,
despite its invocation of royalty, is not actually considered a “nice
restaurant”…
No, this place had forks . . . two of them, and nobody had to share. It was so uptown that none of the entrees came wrapped in paper.
I get my burgers en papillotte. So there.
That has to be one of the best lines I’ve read in months.