AaronFW wrote:
To Nano:
Thanks for the thorough haiku explanation. It really is great to have a much more thorough explanation. In my education, I think we talked about haikus for one day in middle school and that was the full extent. So, I had never learned to take them seriously.
Outside of Japan, that's usually the case. Here in the West, we naturally think that such a short form couldn't really be worth anything, and so we write it off. Part of the reason for this incomprehension is that Haiku's goals are way different from poetry as we think of it in the West. Consequently, general education ensures that most of the time people aren't going to really know more until they look into it for themselves.
You should also know that haiku isn't all that Japan has for poetry. Their other forms are of course longer and more descriptive, like the poetry we usually think of. They just happened to be the ones to come up with haiku, for some reason.
There are actually haiku societies and competitions all over the world, now, and there is a side movement that pairs photography with the form. I don't participate, myself. I just like to craft them from time to time, as well as other forms, too. I've done an English sonnet or maybe two, but I'm normally too lazy to keep at that.
AaronFW wrote:
I will try once more
To give an image in verse.
Empty as the tree.
Here you seem to be onto a better direction. I'm able to get more of a sense of your Now, but that might be me imposing it, because I'm not sure that that's what you were really doing. If you'll indulge me, let's touch on the issues I see here:
Here I'm able to see the image of a poet working at his desk, not satisfied, but poised to continue (and wearing white, for some reason). That works. But if you don't mind my saying so, the tree part is iffy and unsatisfying for me. There's an almost Zen-like quality to it that I nevertheless find interesting, but being overt about it has its pitfalls, and the substance is beyond my reach. If a Mahayanist reference to Emptiness
was your intent, all I can say is that these things take practice. Remember: Simply take the mundane, and make it remarkable with almost no words at all. That should be your lodestar in all things haiku.
Another tip is one I've assumed would be obvious from my examples, but I think it still should be said: There will be exceptions - smashing your thumb with a hammer might be one - but wherever possible, in haiku try to avoid referring directly to yourself. No need to be a grind about it, but it's good practice. Ideally, you're supposed to be reporting what's
around you. Sure, you can say things like "my window", etc; otherwise things might sound wooden, and you don't want that, either. But again, if you can avoid it and it sounds good without the "my" (done right, it probably will), then go about it that way for sure. Articles and determiners are usually better than personal pronouns and their possessives, although at first you might not think so. Writing about smashing your thumb without "my" might be trickier, because although your thumb isn't you, it's still inescapably yours. So as I said, there will probably always be exceptions, but still one should try. You know, just for the practice and exercise, if nothing else. If it doesn't work, fine. Use the possessive, and move on. In the main, though, remember that although haiku's about what
you yourself are experiencing, it's not
about you, the one who's experiencing it. A fine point, you might think, but it's a big difference, and one that counts.
For example, rather than "I trudge through the cold / On my way to the market / [ blah blah ] ", try: "A cold trudge to town; / How far that old market is! / [ blah blah ] ", or something on that order instead. Do you see the difference? That is good haiku style. The first was meatless bones, but now we have an image made richer by a sense of reflection. And we can also now
feel the cold and how we hunch, clutching at our collar - all just by hint! - whereas the first is too abstract to readily produce an image. So, no need to speak of yourself directly; to do so is superfluous because obviously, you're already in the picture from the start. Plus, as you can see, dropping the "I" and "me" here makes more room for other words you could use to improve the image.
Here's a decent guideline with both good and bad examples:
https://thewayofhaiku.wordpress.com/the ... ing-haiku/And "Tontoism" - not good, Kemosabi. Use your articles.
http://www.graceguts.com/further-readin ... ican-haikuThese should get you sorted for starters.
But I'm done explaining haiku now. And the crowd sighs in relief.
david_h wrote:
Nanohedron wrote:
... you get the whole package without having to resort to bigger forms such as sonnets and such... ... challenging precisely because of the brevity and metric requirements involved. Crafting a good one in the best sense is not really the easiest thing to do...
Like the many of the tunes that whistle players enjoy. The appreciation haiku by many here always struck me as entirely consistent with other aesthetic preferences exhibited.
I'm not sure, but come to think of it, I may have compared dance tunes to haiku before.
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