Why do people get offended ?

Socializing and general posts on wide-ranging topics. Remember, it's Poststructural!
User avatar
benhall.1
Moderator
Posts: 14785
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:21 pm
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: I'm a fiddler and, latterly, a fluter. I love the flute. I wish I'd always played it. I love the whistle as well. I'm blessed in having really lovely instruments for all of my musical interests.
Location: Unimportant island off the great mainland of Europe

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by benhall.1 »

I.D.10-t wrote:Or the need to find reasons to use "Smilies" even if he doesn't.
Either that's very deep or I'm being thick, as I have no idea what that means.
User avatar
I.D.10-t
Posts: 7657
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2003 9:57 am
antispam: No
Location: Minneapolis, MN, USA, Earth

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by I.D.10-t »

I was just being silly. Look at user name. I'm not all that deep.
"Be not deceived by the sweet words of proverbial philosophy. Sugar of lead is a poison."
User avatar
walrii
Posts: 1174
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:21 pm
antispam: No
Location: Burkburnett, TX

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by walrii »

Part of the problem in modern America at least is that people, young ones especially, no longer seem to understand the consequences of their words and actions. I'm going to go all old school on you and say it has to do with upbringing. Some decades back, if two toddlers are playing and Toddler A grabbed Toddler B's stuffed animal, Toddler B would scream bloody murder, pick up the nearest toy and whack Toddler A upside the head with it. Both would now be screaming. The adult in the room would watch them for a moment then go over and say "You children really must learn to share," check them for bruises and kiss the bobos. Next time Toddler A wanted the toy Toddler B was playing with, she thought long and hard about it then offered Toddler B a different toy in exchange.

Later in life, playground fights were, if not common, at least not surprising when they happened. Teachers wouldn't intervene until blood was spilled. I only got in three fights in school, all with bullies who'd given me just one too many rations of their BS. All ended in draws and none of the bullies bothered me again. Only one adult played any role in these encounters: the guy who lived across the street was out of work and gave me an hour of boxing lessons before I took on the huge kid from the next street over.

Animals were also important teachers of consequences and they were ubiquitous in rural America. Mistreat the dog? You get bit. Pull the cat's tail? You get the fire clawed out of you. Do the wrong thing around a horse? You get kicked on you butt. Animals are still excellent teachers of manners, mostly because they never got the memo on modern speech.

Today, we seem to worried about what harm might come to the young ones. We hover and fret and protect so they grow up in a "safe space." They never really learn that the things they say and do have consequences. They say and do things that hurt other people or piss them off and are either oblivious to the hurt or react like the offended is a neanderthal for not agreeing with them.

Socialization needs to start very young. Those two toddlers aren't going to physically hurt each other with those stuffed animals but they will learn valuable lessons about human interaction, what works and what doesn't. Childhood is not an incubator; it is a laboratory. And in a laboratory, we learn the most from our mistakes.
The Walrus

What would a wild walrus whistle if a walrus could whistle wild?

The second mouse may get the cheese but the presentation leaves a lot to be desired.
User avatar
Nanohedron
Moderatorer
Posts: 38202
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.

Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps.
Location: Lefse country

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by Nanohedron »

walrii wrote:...or react like the offended is a neanderthal for not agreeing with them.
I take personal offence to that characterization, sir, given the Neanderthal branch of my forebears!

It seems we have to rethink our denigrations these days. :wink:
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Tribal musician
User avatar
walrii
Posts: 1174
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:21 pm
antispam: No
Location: Burkburnett, TX

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by walrii »

Nanohedron wrote:
walrii wrote:...or react like the offended is a neanderthal for not agreeing with them.
I take personal offence to that characterization, sir, given the Neanderthal branch of my forebears!

It seems we have to rethink our denigrations these days. :wink:
From what I've read, we may all have a Neanderthal up in our family tree. Some DNA studies suggest there may have been significant inbreeding between Neanderthals and early Homo Sapiens. Wait...I'm related to Nano? Gawd, there goes the country club membership. :D
The Walrus

What would a wild walrus whistle if a walrus could whistle wild?

The second mouse may get the cheese but the presentation leaves a lot to be desired.
User avatar
Nanohedron
Moderatorer
Posts: 38202
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.

Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps.
Location: Lefse country

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by Nanohedron »

walrii wrote:Wait...I'm related to Nano?
Relax. I'm not going to call you my long-lost nth cousin and weasel you for cash and stuff.

(Begging pardon of any who claim weaselish descent.)
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Tribal musician
User avatar
An Draighean
Posts: 889
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:18 am
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 10
Location: Parker County, Texas, USA

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by An Draighean »

Nanohedron wrote:
(Begging pardon of any who claim weaselish descent.)
Harrumph! We furry folk find the epithet "weaselish" offensive; in the U.S., we prefer to be called Weasel-Americans. And we resent the the typical stereotypes, i.e. "randy as a mink" and etc.
Deartháir don phaidir an port.
User avatar
Nanohedron
Moderatorer
Posts: 38202
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.

Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps.
Location: Lefse country

Re: Why do people get offended ?

Post by Nanohedron »

There's this fellow I know whose entire family are remarkably fecund; keeping tradition, his own line wasted no time and he was a great-grandfather by 58, IIRC. "You guys breed like stoats," I said, and he seemed rather pleased with that.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Tribal musician
Post Reply