I'm far from the best-qualified person to answer these questions, but I'll throw in my $0.02 anyway.
If I was playing in such an environment, I'd look for a headset microphone. I'd want one that's sensitive enough to pick up the sounds of the whistle pretty clearly (not sounding like stereo sound with a blown speaker, if that makes any sense). Such a rig, employed in conjunction with good amplification and filtering of undesired noises, just might do the trick.
I can't really be of help with the monitoring issue, and I have no clue about EQ settings...for the latter, I'd just use the trial and error method. A visit to Google should tell you if anyone has made a foot pedal that can be used to switch EQ settings.
And if everyone is competing with the drummer, he might benefit from some modifications to his setup, or maybe swapping his sticks for brushes.
Hopefully I've been at least somewhat helpful.
_________________ Whistle No.1: Walton's Irish, soprano D Whistle No. 2: green Feadóg Original, soprano D
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