Dear Miss Manners,
- Nanohedron
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Dear Miss Manners,
I'm in a real quandary. Here's the deal: a dear friend, knowing my specialised musical bent but unknowing of the run-of-the-mill ITM winds player's stereotypical animus toward the instrument, bought a Yamaha German system recorder at the State Fair and made a gift of it to me. Deeply touched as I am, I'm...um...disinclined to pursue it, one could say. Really, I have enough on my plate already without taking up Renaissance and Baroque court music. Still, I desperately wish for an honorable resolution for both parties' sake in this awkward situation. I don't want my friend to be embarrassed or hurt. What should I do?
Please don't say, "Buy a silly hat and get thee to the RenFest." I'd kill the first fop that simpers at me.
Signed,
Yowch.
Please don't say, "Buy a silly hat and get thee to the RenFest." I'd kill the first fop that simpers at me.
Signed,
Yowch.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Tribal musician
- jbarter
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Re: Dear Miss Manners,
but let me get a ringside seat first.Nanohedron wrote:Buy a silly hat and get thee to the RenFest
May the joy of music be ever thine.
(BTW, my name is John)
(BTW, my name is John)
- jbarter
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Do you have a nearby young relative that you could teach to play it? You could then honourably "loan" them yours which could become sort of permanent. You could also then tell your friend of the wonderful time you've had being able to pass on your musical knowledge.
May the joy of music be ever thine.
(BTW, my name is John)
(BTW, my name is John)
Re: Dear Miss Manners,
shouldn't tease the fates should we....Nanohedron wrote:"Ouch. Ouch. Ouch." - Nano
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The polite thing to do is to say thank you and learn to play a tune or two for your friend. If you're really no good at it, your friend won't ask to hear you play it again anyway. You can always say "Thanks for thinking of me. This instrument is a lot different from my tin whistle, and I'm afraid I'm not very good at it. But it was very kind of you to remember me."
- Cynth
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I'm with Tim2723. I think the most important thing is for you not to hurt your friend's feelings in this case. If the friend is really going to be interested to hear you play a bit, I would try to maybe learn a few notes just to show I've gotten started---maybe learning a couple of tunes would be too much, but maybe at your level it wouldn't be too hard. And then if the friend asked again, you could say it was coming along a bit but you've had to practice your other instruments for your band or you've had to learn some new tunes for some dancers or something---you could say something that was true but not the only reason for not playing the recorder. And if the friend asks again you could say it really isn't coming along too well because you've been so busy with the band, etc. I don't think it would be dishonorable to pretend to like it in order to not hurt the feelings of your friend---there is no big serious reason that your friend must be told the truth even though it hurts, so I think the better good is for you to fib a bit. I don't think that is dishonorable, that is just kind. You don't have to go overboard, but just like it and then not have enough time to really work at it because of your other committments all of which is really true except the liking it part. And then gradually it will probably just become clear to your friend that a person only has time to play so many instruments and do a good job at it. But you will always like the recorder, it's just a lack of time to really practice it that is the problem.
If you think your friend will continue to give you recorders or other instruments because you said you liked this one, hmmm....That would be a problem. That would require some real thought. But you didn't mention other musical gifts from this friend so I think it must be a one-time thing.
If this friend is your best friend in the world with whom you have always been honest and able to talk to about anything, then that might be different. But it didn't sound as if the relationship was quite like that. Even so, my very closest friend crocheted a pig out of variegated orange yarn for me and I told her I loved it. It did not ruin the basic trust between us. She feels horrified herself now when she thinks about that pig, but I still maintain I love it . And I sort of do just because she made it for me. And she maintains she loves an absolutely grotesque patchwork pillow I made for her once.
If you think your friend will continue to give you recorders or other instruments because you said you liked this one, hmmm....That would be a problem. That would require some real thought. But you didn't mention other musical gifts from this friend so I think it must be a one-time thing.
If this friend is your best friend in the world with whom you have always been honest and able to talk to about anything, then that might be different. But it didn't sound as if the relationship was quite like that. Even so, my very closest friend crocheted a pig out of variegated orange yarn for me and I told her I loved it. It did not ruin the basic trust between us. She feels horrified herself now when she thinks about that pig, but I still maintain I love it . And I sort of do just because she made it for me. And she maintains she loves an absolutely grotesque patchwork pillow I made for her once.
Diligentia maximum etiam mediocris ingeni subsidium. ~ Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence.----Seneca
- rama
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being truthful never hurt. after all it's their thought that counts. appreciate that. by being phony about it isn't really very polite in my book, i mean what if they get the impression you really can use it and love it ( i.e. creating false impression) ... they might send you more... but if they know you appreciate the thought, yet you still impart info about your true "likes", they might form a true impression and give you something you actually like next time! free yourself from your bind.
- Nanohedron
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Thanks for the replies; much to work with, and I value it. This is actually an honest situation. Any other input will be much appreciated.
No likelihood, I think it's safe to say, that my friend will keep giving me recorders; even less that I'll be given a really good, well-reeded and fully keyed Bb chanter, either, though. More's the pity.
I had expected at least one response to read, "You are SO screwed."
No likelihood, I think it's safe to say, that my friend will keep giving me recorders; even less that I'll be given a really good, well-reeded and fully keyed Bb chanter, either, though. More's the pity.
I had expected at least one response to read, "You are SO screwed."
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Tribal musician
- Nanohedron
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Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
Hmph.
And you'll notice that neither of them is very happy. Is it the instruments? Is it the costuming? I don't care to find out. That's for sterner stuff than I.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against recorders per se, and love them when they play music composed for them. Great stuff.
And you'll notice that neither of them is very happy. Is it the instruments? Is it the costuming? I don't care to find out. That's for sterner stuff than I.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against recorders per se, and love them when they play music composed for them. Great stuff.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Tribal musician
- Cynth
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The quartet called Flautando Koln
looks like it has a good sense of humor:
The Bellatrix Recorder Quartet looks pretty happy to me:
Or if you like to dance while you play your recorder maybe the recorder quartet called Sirena would be more up your alley.
They must be really happy.
<img src="http://www.sirena.se/328.jpg"width=800>
The Quartet New Generation does look a little stern, but perhaps in a rather intriguing way, shall we say?
<img src="http://news.uns.purdue.edu/UNS/images/+ ... "width=800>
looks like it has a good sense of humor:
The Bellatrix Recorder Quartet looks pretty happy to me:
Or if you like to dance while you play your recorder maybe the recorder quartet called Sirena would be more up your alley.
They must be really happy.
<img src="http://www.sirena.se/328.jpg"width=800>
The Quartet New Generation does look a little stern, but perhaps in a rather intriguing way, shall we say?
<img src="http://news.uns.purdue.edu/UNS/images/+ ... "width=800>
Diligentia maximum etiam mediocris ingeni subsidium. ~ Diligence is a very great help even to a mediocre intelligence.----Seneca