Wordplay ...

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Jerry Freeman
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Wordplay ...

Post by Jerry Freeman »

In Chiffy Chat recently, someone said, "If you have no Monet, you're baroque." Today, this came in an email (must be some cosmic planetary alignment or something):

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Jack
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Post by Jack »

Love it!
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Lorenzo
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let's play late-night GHOST

Post by Lorenzo »

...C
riasgt
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Post by riasgt »

I've always liked the T-shirt my wife received from a college room mate:

"You need to step on Degas to make the VanGogh"
-David
"I'll be right back" -Godot
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antstastegood
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Post by antstastegood »

A person who tells too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out.
Unreasonable person,
ants
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Cathy Wilde
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Post by Cathy Wilde »

Here are a few more .....

Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter and supply a new definition. Here are the 2002 winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

(This one got extra credit).

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeer Effect: The tendency for stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

And, the winner of the Washington Post's Style Invitational:

Ignoranus: [fill in the blank, this is a family board ;-)]
Deja Fu: The sense that somewhere, somehow, you've been kicked in the head exactly like this before.
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Darwin
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Post by Darwin »

I can play the whistle while reading, but not while giggling.
Mike Wright

"When an idea is wanting, a word can always be found to take its place."
 --Goethe
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Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.

Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps.
Location: Lefse country

Post by Nanohedron »

I once dreamt I was a car. It was an auto body experience.
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