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I am currently on hold waiting for a scottish call center lady to deal with my query. she uses a phrase that I have not heard for ages 9since I last lived in Aberdeen), and I cannot find on the interwebs... 'the now'.
As in 'I will put you on hold the now'. Is this really that uncommon? North of the border for sure, but no hits on ddg?

It's common throughout Scotland, either as 'the nou' or 'the now'. Standard Scots usage, in fact. English equivalents would be (1) just now, at present; just a moment ago (2) in a moment, soon. (Concise Scots Dictionary, 2nd edn.)

I'm not sure if you'd hear it over the border in in Northumberland. I'll ask a couple of local Geordies about that tonight.

Thank you. It is not just my senile memory and rosé tinted spectacles. I enjoyed my time north of the border and it was a delightful reminder (as was the ladies accent).

More usually 'the noo'.......

(As in 'now'.)

DrPhill wrote:I cannot find on the interwebs... 'the now'.

You're right - it's practically impossible to find, outside of the English punk band of that name. Added "scottish" to the keywords, and it wasn't any help. I then tried adding a plus sign - "the+now scottish" - and even so, all I got was two sources, one of them Wikipedia, and both were basically lists you had to comb through to find what you wanted. The other source had it as "(the) noo". So next I tried typing in "the+noo scottish", and just about every hit seems to be the nonsense Scots parody phrase, "Och aye the noo." Great.

I've read and heard it before - not a lot, but enough so you'd think that because of its character there ought to be something more about it on the Web.

I found some good Scottish jokes, though: "Ten cows in a field. Which is on holiday? The wan wae the wee calf." It took me a while.

Nanohedron wrote:I've read and heard it before - not a lot, but enough so you'd think that because of its character there ought to be something more about it on the Web.

As Brian says above, it's normal here.

I found some good Scottish jokes, though: "Ten cows in a field. Which is on holiday? The wan wae the wee calf." It took me a while.

I just read that and laughed out loud!

Nanohedron wrote:So next I tried typing in "the+noo scottish", and just about every hit seems to be the nonsense Scots parody phrase, "Och aye the noo." Great.

PS I once saw a hi-fi magazine review excruciatingly titled 'Akai the New'!

Peter Duggan wrote:

Nanohedron wrote:So next I tried typing in "the+noo scottish", and just about every hit seems to be the nonsense Scots parody phrase, "Och aye the noo." Great.

PS I once saw a hi-fi magazine review excruciatingly titled 'Akai the New'!

Oh, dear... Stupid question, but it was of course a Scottish publication, right?

Nanohedron wrote:Oh, dear... Stupid question, but it was of course a Scottish publication, right?

If that's a serious question and you're expecting an answer, no, of course not... it was from down south!

Peter Duggan wrote:

Nanohedron wrote:Oh, dear... Stupid question, but it was of course a Scottish publication, right?

If that's a serious question and you're expecting an answer, no, of course not... it was from down south!

Yes, it was a serious question. I thought maybe Caledonians might have it in them to play with such a groaner of a pun, even though it was based on a crude stereotype.

So it raises the (also serious) question: Since it wasn't published in Scotland, was it still intended to work that pun, or would it have been sheer happenstance?

Nanohedron wrote:Since it wasn't published in Scotland, was it still intended to work that pun

Yes, without a doubt. It's a clichéd 'Scottish' expression I've never heard any Scot say (seriously, at least) in its entirety but, as your introduction of it above attests, isn't exactly unknown elsewhere.

Peter Duggan wrote:

Nanohedron wrote:Since it wasn't published in Scotland, was it still intended to work that pun

Yes, without a doubt. It's a clichéd 'Scottish' expression I've never heard any Scot say (seriously, at least) in its entirety but, as your introduction of it above attests, isn't exactly unknown elsewhere.

Then pardon me if I sound a bit touchy about it, but given the source, "Akai the New" comes off as someone using the cover of "wit" as an excuse to express unprovoked bigotry apropos of nothing but the opportunity to go there. But hey - maybe I'm reading too much into it; it's not my back yard, after all.

The vast majority of Yanks would never get it without context staring them right in the face. If "Och aye the noo" (which I knew of, but only in passing) weren't already an immediate part of this conversation, for me "Akai the New" on its own wouldn't have brought the other to mind; instead, I would have simply questioned the value of its quirky syntax and wondered if that's what you were getting at. I suppose having Scotland for a neighbor would sharpen my perspective.