Chiff and Fipple Forums

Michael w6 wrote:The koto is like a sitar. A very little bit is quite enough.

What? The koto is nothing in the slightest like a sitar. At all. The only thing in common is that they are stringed instruments, but that's where any similarity ends.

The shamisen and biwa are constructed to have buzzy notes; perhaps you meant either of those?

Porridge Brochan Lom for me

Bob

I love the koto.

I would never tell the joke to someone I didn't know (male or female), or if in a group, unless I gauged the group would be okay with it.

I'm a boomer, and I will say, I wouldn't have had the reservation about the joke 30 years ago. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.

The reaction to your remark about Mexican music I find extreme.

Hahahaha to the Cthulhu tag.

Michael w6 wrote:Hahahaha to the Cthulhu tag.

It's on a tee shirt. In my sig it replaced "Don't blame me, I voted for Cthulhu". The first time I saw something like it was "Cthulhu for president. Never mind the LESSER of two evils."

Any sexual jokes, even childish ones, from a man to a woman are sexual harassment in this day and age. IMO, it is best to take her warning seriously, regardless of your personal feelings of right and wrong. Ask any HR professional if such jokes are ok, how many lawsuits are filed each year and how many people get fired over such 'innocent' things every year, and you will see how serious these things are.

The music thing is a completely different scenario. The gentleman was creating motive where none exists.

@Charlie - There is a story within the Mythos, I think it may be by Brian Lumley, where a person summons a demon to take vengeance on people who have crossed him. The demon asks who to kill. The supplicant begins to name people then finally says, "Just kill everyone." The demon responds with "We just needed someone to ask that." And the End begins.

Not speaking as a Mod, but just in my capacity as a general user here, what do I do when I find the original post both deeply offensive and blatantly sexist, with its ludicrous gender stereotyping and a whole range of other cultural assumptions and prejudices? (Let's ignore the fact that it makes no sense, since by definition, all weenies are hollow.) What to do? Just say so, I suppose. I think you should apologise to the person you offended.

benhall.1 wrote:Not speaking as a Mod, but just in my capacity as a general user here, what do I do when I find the original post both deeply offensive and blatantly sexist, with its ludicrous gender stereotyping and a whole range of other cultural assumptions and prejudices? (Let's ignore the fact that it makes no sense, since by definition, all weenies are hollow.) What to do? Just say so, I suppose. I think you should apologise to the person you offended.

In what way was the original post sexist?

I'm extremely careful in any professional setting about what i say and what kind of jokes I make, and I don't think that's a bad thing. Civility and politeness are good things, and the modern workplace is mixed to an extent it wasn't mixed twenty years ago. Also as someone who regularly deals with younger people over whom I end up having significant power, I try hard to aim for professionalism, avoiding the personal and focusing as entirely as possible on their work and not their selves. I would not have told the joke the OP told, because I'm just imaging a grad student saying "why is this weird old dude telling me dick jokes? it's creepy." It's all about context, and I've learned over many decades that what seems harmless to the person in charge is often weirdly threatening to the person not in charge. "Professionalism" is everybody's friend, unless the person is your actual friend.

bwat wrote:

benhall.1 wrote:Not speaking as a Mod, but just in my capacity as a general user here, what do I do when I find the original post both deeply offensive and blatantly sexist, with its ludicrous gender stereotyping and a whole range of other cultural assumptions and prejudices? (Let's ignore the fact that it makes no sense, since by definition, all weenies are hollow.) What to do? Just say so, I suppose. I think you should apologise to the person you offended.

In what way was the original post sexist?

I honestly can't believe anyone has asked that. Ok, here goes. So witches are all female, are they? And ghosts all male? Now, I ask myself, "Why would anyone make those assumptions?" The only rational answer that I can come up with is that it's an appalling level of gender stereotyping that frankly beggars belief. I guess witches are female because they're all ugly hags, which of course, males can't be. And ghosts? Well, no woman would be important enough to come back as a ghost, obviously, so they must all be male.

PB+J wrote:"Professionalism" is everybody's friend, unless the person is your actual friend.

Well said.

benhall.1 wrote:

bwat wrote:

benhall.1 wrote:Not speaking as a Mod, but just in my capacity as a general user here, what do I do when I find the original post both deeply offensive and blatantly sexist, with its ludicrous gender stereotyping and a whole range of other cultural assumptions and prejudices? (Let's ignore the fact that it makes no sense, since by definition, all weenies are hollow.) What to do? Just say so, I suppose. I think you should apologise to the person you offended.

In what way was the original post sexist?

I honestly can't believe anyone has asked that. Ok, here goes. So witches are all female, are they?

According to the dictionary definition, yes they are.

benhall.1 wrote: And ghosts all male?

Plenty of reports of white lady ghosts so no.

benhall.1 wrote: The only rational answer that I can come up with is that it's an appalling level of gender stereotyping that frankly beggars belief.

So assuming ghosts are male is an appaling level of gender stereotyping in your book that frankly beggars belief...... wow!

@benhall -This incident occurred several Halloweens ago. The person to whom I told this silly joke is long gone. I'm quite convinced she was posturing and wanting to make ruckus. Sure the joke does not make literal sense. It is word play on "Halloween" and "hollow weenies." One might consider ghosts and witches make no sense. They're children's myths and fantasy stories with no reality.

Where does the idea of claiming offense end? Could an employee who is a devout Christian claim offense that another employee has dressed up a cliched witch? See Exodus 22:18. Could Wiccans claim offense at the stereotyped "witches" of Halloween?

@PB+J The coworker and I are age peers. I certainly don't think this joke qualifies as a "dick joke." It is a silly jape I likely heard as a young teen.

Michael w6 wrote:@benhall -This incident occurred several Halloweens ago. The person to whom I told this silly joke is long gone. I'm quite convinced she was posturing and wanting to make ruckus. Sure the joke does not make literal sense. It is word play on "Halloween" and "hollow weenies." One might consider ghosts and witches make no sense. They're children's myths and fantasy stories with no reality.

Where does the idea of claiming offense end? Could an employee who is a devout Christian claim offense that another employee has dressed up a cliched witch? See Exodus 22:18. Could Wiccans claim offense at the stereotyped "witches" of Halloween?

@PB+J The coworker and I are age peers. I certainly don't think this joke qualifies as a "dick joke." It is a silly jape I likely heard as a young teen.

Here's the thing about jokes, you don't think its offensive, but apparently she did. I think it's a dick joke, because the punchline is about dicks, but you think it's not a dick joke, because...well I don't really get your reasoning on that.

Attacking the offended person for being offended is kind of a loser of a strategy. If somebody is offended, my response is generally to try not to offend them, or just avoid them because they are difficult to deal with. Alternatively, I could keep offending them, hoping I guess to beat them down into seeing it my way? But why would I do that? You apparently offended her, but you are refusing to accept her response--you say she was just "posturing." And here you are just posturing, as the guy who gets to determine what is and is not offensive to other people. I want to suggest that YOU are the one being thin skinned and easily offended here. She claimed offense, and you got offended, and came here to tell us how wrong she was. You and she are basically acting the same way, it seems to me.


Yes people are all different and many people have sensitivities that seem odd to me. Like imagine how weird it would be to be a non-religious person in a world where people are constantly evoking the authority of a deity. I work all the time with academics who are always easily offended about something that seems harmless to me--jokes you might make about sex, or race, or gender, or about the Smoot-Hawley Tarrif. I make a joke about the Smoot Hawley tariff, and it turns out the person just finished writing a scholarly article on the economic lessons of the smoot hawley tarrif, and here I go belittling that work. She may have had some prior experience with aggressive jokes that were used to belittle and control. Who knows? I don't.