Okay, I'll bite:

Hobart = HOBB-ert
Montague = MAWN-tag
Iowa Park = CORN-field

How did I do?

If ever you plan to infiltrate fair Minnesota's stronghold, do pronounce Ely as if it were full of eels: "Eel-ee" (as in, "Yep, that's a pretty eely hovercraft you've got there, Bill."). "Eel-eye" will only get you laughed at and shown the border. Here are a few more of our own shibboleths:

Wayzata
Mahtomedi
New Prague
Cretin (yes, unfortunately that's for real)

_________________
"Time is the wisest counselor of all." - Pericles

"I remain not entirely convinced of it." - Nano

Well...

HEE-bert
MON-TAIG. (same emphasis on both syllables)
i-o-WAY Park

Iowa Park is indeed surrounded by fields but they’re mostly winter wheat.

As for Nano’s towns, I’ve hung around MIN-ee-SO-tah-doan-cha-no to know what I don’t know.

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The Walrus

What would a wild walrus whistle if a walrus could whistle wild?

The second mouse may get the cheese but the presentation leaves a lot to be desired.

Good Lord.


I'll forgive your pronunciation, there, because the caricature is too nationally entrenched to fight.

Wayzata = wye-ZED-a
Mahtomedi = MOD-a-MEE-dye
New Prague = rhymes with "vague"
Cretin = Say "Cretan", but instead of a T, make a glottal stop crashing right into the N, and you'll have nailed it.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the State of Iowa, my suggestion that Iowa Park would be pronounced "cornfield" is a very Minnesotan joke. We're always poking at each other.

_________________
"Time is the wisest counselor of all." - Pericles

"I remain not entirely convinced of it." - Nano

Oh, now I get it: Blorenge.

So there is a word that rhymes with "orange"! Saints be praised at last.

_________________
"Time is the wisest counselor of all." - Pericles

"I remain not entirely convinced of it." - Nano

That takes care of that. Now, what can we do with "purple"?

Hirple. If we can use Welsh names, we can use Scots words, too.

_________________
"Time is the wisest counselor of all." - Pericles

"I remain not entirely convinced of it." - Nano

Oy, that gives me a cramp.

Bob

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Not everything you can count, counts. And not everything that counts, can be counted

The Expert's Mind has few possibilities.
The Beginner's mind has endless possibilities.
Shunryu Suzuki, Roshi